I started out this morning in a pair of spanx. Well not actually that particular brand but a full body slimmer. One of those undergarments that wraps around you like a boa constrictor and squeezes all your jiggly bits into submission. I walked around like that as I continued to get ready for my big day– I’ve got two doctor’s appointments and some grocery shopping to do. That’s a marathon for someone with fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and myofascial pain syndrome.
As I went about my business of getting ready, I felt the twinge of discomfort that comes with having all your innards squeezed yet I ignored it. I wanted to look good so I was willing to endure the misery. I finished getting ready and took one final look in the mirror and realized I didn’t look like the supermodel I wanted to look like anyway. That spanx was not some magic wand that instantly transported me into something I wasn’t. And why should I want it to? Popeye was right. I yam what I yam and that’s all what I yam. I need to learn to love and accept me right where I am at this moment. I’m getting better at it but this morning’s debacle proves that I’ve still got work to do. I suffer through enough pain already on a daily basis. Why in the world would I consider inflicting more on myself just so I could meet some expectation of what I should look like? I know who I am inside, and that’s what really matters.
The spanx are off and so am I. Headed out to embrace the day– and all of my jiggly bits.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7