That One Time My Six Year Old Son Was Almost Arrested


Happy Tuesday, everyone! How are you all doing this fine morning? I’m sitting in the car on the way to Miami. My husband needs to go to the Dutch Consulate to get his passport renewed. Then we are going to one of my favorite places in the world. Ikea!! Wooo-hoo!!

I’m still in the mood to keep things light today. How about a funny mom story? Well it’s funny now but it sure wasn’t funny when it happened. Maybe some of you moms can relate.

We were at a family event in the very small town in Kansas (think Mayberry) where I grew up. I was a single mom at the time. After the event I needed to go to work. The plan was for my kids to go with my mom and I would go straight to work from there. 

My youngest son, who was 6 at the time, had other plans. He was a mama’s boy through and through. And this mama’s boy was not in the mood to go to grandma’s house that day. Now to fully grasp the hilarity of what I’m about to tell you, you need to know a few more details about this mama’s boy. He had a stocky build and he was strong. Stronger than me kind of strong. It was almost like he had super powers. And his father was Mexican. Although he was only half Mexican he looked completely 100% Mexican.

After the event we were standing on the sidewalk on Main Street in downtown Mayberry. There was a bicycle cop patrolling the streets (think Barney Fife). I kissed the kids goodbye and they went off with grandma. All but mama’s boy, that is. He ran to my car and, before I could stop him, he had climbed in the back seat. He informed me he wasn’t going with grandma. He wanted to go with me. 

After spending a few minutes trying to reason with him to no avail, it was time to take things to the next level. I climbed into the back seat to get him out but he was bucking and kicking and fighting like a bull in a rodeo. It took all that I had to pick him up, but I won. I got him in my hands and he was getting out of my car before I was late to work.

But that was only half the battle. I carried him to my mother’s car, still kicking and screaming. I got him as far as the door, and then this little mama’s boy spread out his strong little arms and legs and attached them firmly to the doorframe. Like this:

I tried to get him off, but I couldn’t pry his little fingers off the door frame. I tried and tried again. My oldest son who was 15 at the time tried. My mother tried. We couldn’t make him budge. All this while mama’s boy was screaming “I don’t want to go with you! I don’t want to go with you!” So imagine this for a moment if you will. You are riding down the street and you pass an all white family trying to stuff a little Mexican boy screaming “I don’t want to go with you” into a car. What would you think?

Yeah. That’s what the bicycle cop thought too. He came over to rescue the terrified little boy from his kidnappers. I don’t know how but somehow we managed to convince him that I was actually his mother. We explained the situation to Officer Fife. He looked sternly at mama’s boy and tried to convince him to stop screaming and get in the car. But mama’s boy was stubborn. (I’m pretty sure his wife would tell you he still is). He wouldn’t stop. Even for Barney. 

What Barney did next shocked us all. He got on his radio and called for backup. And he told my 6 year old son that he was going to arrest him for disturbing the peace. To this day I’m not really sure if Officer Fife was serious, but I don’t really care. He was able to accomplish the impossible. As soon as Officer Fife got off the radio, mama’s boy stopped screaming. He sniffled and pouted, let go of the door frame, and got into my mother’s car. I don’t know if backup ever came. We didn’t stick around long enough to find out. 


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